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kattklaws
Administrator
370 Posts |
 Posted - 07/25/2010 : 2:59:42 PM
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Binky,
Oh, I am so glad you posted!
yeah, there are so many phases of wd,I know it is hard. Your energy WILL come back.....your body is used to getting it's energy from opiates so it takes a while for your get up and go to come back, but it will, just hold on....
Are you still stable on the Valium?
Love,
Karen |
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binky
New Member
USA
42 Posts |
Posted - 07/26/2010 : 12:52:15 AM
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Hi Karen,
I am not really stable on the valium I don't think. I was taking up to 40 mgs valium with the opiates and soma last year which both potentiate the valium. Then I went down to 20 mg for a while. Then I have been on 15 mg while getting off of everything else and the anxiety is high. I went up to about 18 mg today and felt a bit better. I wonder if some of my wd is benzo wd since there is no opiates or soma to potentiate the valium... I am going to try to stick to 15 mg and hopefully stabalize soon.
Binky |
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shawn
Moderator
90 Posts |
Posted - 07/26/2010 : 07:42:36 AM
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Hi Binky, First of all for being newly off of sub you are doing GREAT. I was never on sub, but I did abuse Oxy pretty hard for a long time. When I came off, Paws stuck around for a few months for me. I did not recognize it, until someone at NA talked to me about it. The anxiety , the aching bones (feels like arthritis) and the big one for me was ZERO ENERGY!! And then throw benzo tapering into the mix, and you are not sure whats, what. I can really relate. The Paws will lift. It will do so in a fashion where one day you will be sitting there and realize you dont feel like crap as much as you did.
You are getting 5 or 6 hours of sleep?? that is GREAT from being newly opiate free!!! I know many many many people struggle to get a couple of hours for a looong time. So I'm sure those 5 or 6 hours are doing you good.
I know it sucks, but you really are doing great, and just hang in there. DO NOT GIVE UP A MINUTE BEFORE THE MIRACLE HAPPENS!! it could be tonight, tomorrow, next week...but it will happen binky.
KAren is a great one to guide you through this..She grabbed my hand before I slipped into hell and pulled me back out..
I am rooting for you
-Shawn
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kattklaws
Administrator
370 Posts |
Posted - 07/26/2010 : 12:17:34 PM
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Binky,
You were on a hefty dose of Valium so you really may have to reinstate to a higher amount. So many times people try to just hold on thinking it will get better, but in truth, it gets worse. It is better to reinstate to your original dose or as close as you need to, to get to your best, and then start to come off daily.
The PAWS is bad, but like Shawn said, it will go away. Benzo wd is a whole different ball game though........it just doesn't life like opiate wd.
Consider reinstating on the Valium and then you can get off that as well.
Love,Karen |
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skooter
Senior Member
362 Posts |
Posted - 07/27/2010 : 12:55:39 AM
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Hey Binky,
glad to hear you've kicked the opiates. I did, once. Now have to do it again sometime. I always said to myself after I learned what I had done to myself that I would come off of the benzo first, and then the opiate. Now I don't know, but I do know that you should listen when Karen says you should up your dose of benzos. I didn't reinstate to enough and am really paying for it now, am in PAWS I'm sure of it, and only feeding this monster now of trying to come off the stupid benzos again. I made such a mess of myself not knowing about what a benzo was even, I was taking huge chunks off at a time, never even holding. Then getting down, being in awful awful w/d, upping the dose (just by little bits tho) then off again and did this over and over again until not taking anything for 5 whole weeks! And now paying for it. Jana has saved my life tho as I know I wouldn't be here if I was going any faster or tried to stay completley off from the c/t's. Most times the mental probs are nil for me, now there are other circumstances making my w/d worse.
Anyways, I think I remember you when I first came here. Just want you to get stable and do this right so you don't suffer as much if at all. Hang in there, it will get better! |
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binky
New Member
USA
42 Posts |
Posted - 07/27/2010 : 12:39:59 PM
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Shawn, Skooter, and of course Karen,
Thanks for keeping an eye on me. 36 days off opiates! And I am sleeping 5-6 hours nightly! I don't know if its SAWS (sub acute), PAWS, and or benzo wd going from 20 to 15 mg v, but something has really been gnawing at me. Thanks Skooter, Karen for suggesting I try going back up on the v. Went back up to 20 mg and felt a little better yesterday. Will try again today and see if I can stabilize at 20 since I wasn't able to at 15 mg. Then I will drop slowly from there. Skooter, good luck getting off the opiates. Do you have a taper plan? Are you on the other board? You can follow my opiate story there under the bupenorphine section since I went from oxy and norcos to suboxone/subutex. I would not recommend sub unless only for around a 10 day taper. I was on it 6 months and it was rough tapering and even rougher once I was off it.
Thanks Shawn, I will try to hang in there. I know I flushed all opiates, but I was thinking there may be an oxy that fell underneath the refrigerator ... arghhh, stinkin' thinkin'. I don't want to go there.
I went to a meditation class last nite and they talked about imagining a crystal ball shining towards the sun right where that big anxiety hole is in my stomach. I'm gonna keep trying that more and maybe I can get it to go away or burn away, hehehehe.
All the best!
Binky |
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kattklaws
Administrator
370 Posts |
Posted - 07/27/2010 : 8:48:22 PM
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Binky,
Kill that stinkin' thinkin'! 
Yeah, go up to 20mgs of Valium, because you would have stabilized by now at the 15, but once you are tolerant to it you HAVE to come off of it, that's just the way it works.
Keep in touch, and get stable on that benzo so we can ditch it!
Love your way,
Karen |
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binky
New Member
USA
42 Posts |
Posted - 07/29/2010 : 12:53:07 PM
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Well, last two days I went up from 15 to 20 mg valium and I'm feeling much better. I still find myself gasping for breath occasionally and for no reason. Is that like a mini panic attack or anxiety related thing? I finally got enough energy to go to the gym yesterday -- first time since I stopped the suboxone over 5 weeks ago. Ran for 15 minutes! Stretched, 200 sit-ups and 30 minutes in the hot tub. Gotta try to do that every day again, feels so good afterwards. Somehow I got tennis elbow from lifting weights about 10 weeks ago and I am still so pain sensitive that its overpowering over my back pain. It should pass soon I hope.
Hopefully I can stabilize at 20 mg v over the next couple weeks(?) and get started on the titration and taper soon!
Binky |
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kattklaws
Administrator
370 Posts |
Posted - 07/29/2010 : 2:34:41 PM
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Binky,
I am so glad you got some energy back, it is hard to imagine how much stopping opiates literally zaps all the energy you could even hope to muster.
Good job on going to the gym,I am sure you needed to go up to 20mgs of Valium.
You should stabilize soon and be ready to get rid of the last of your poison.
Love to ya,
Karen |
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skooter
Senior Member
362 Posts |
Posted - 07/29/2010 : 11:35:27 PM
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Hey binky,
sounds like you're doing better. Hope you're able to stabalize now on the 20mgs and get off the poisons once and for all. Good on ya doing all that exercising too, I am jealous!
I don't have a plan yet to get off the opiates. For me it's all or nothing. Only taking 2 to 3 a day, so is not what I used to take for sure. I used to take 3 80mg slow release, and 5 8mg of quick release of morph for about 6 yrs. I think, maybe more can't remember. And I came off all of it during '08 after I stopped taking my temazapam. Right after I stopped the temaz, my spine started tingling, and I had no idea what was going on. Then throughout '08 it just got more annoying than anything, but I started becoming worried. If only I'd of come online then, I'd of saved myself alot of pain and suffering that's for sure. Hence I argued with my doc how I wanted to get off the drugs, he didn't want me to and must of been mad as he then began to ignore me. I would call and call him off and on for over 6 months as I continued to drop more drugs, and then started on my other 2 benzos. yes he had me on 3 azapam drugs, and is why I started dropping them. Thought to myself, I don't need to be on 3 of them. So along with the morph and the benzos I dropped away getting more ill by the day. Then bam, it all hit me at once after xmas of '08 when I was off of everything!
So I went about a yr. without anything else after reinstating the benzos after 5 weeks of insanely grotesque torture. Sure wish I'd of found Jana sooner. Sure wish I had contacted John sooner from another site. I was going up and down after reinstating not knowing what amt. to reinstate to, and only reinstated to less than 1/4 of what I was originally on. So my theory is that I've been in c/t mode every since.
Anyways, sorry for going on here. Just wanted to explain my situation a bit I suppose. Thanks for reading lol.
Anyways, keep up the good work!
Cheryl |
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binky
New Member
USA
42 Posts |
Posted - 08/02/2010 : 9:12:07 PM
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Hi Cheryl,
Wow, sounds like you've gone through some very tough times. Took me six months to get off the suboxone after 5 years on hydros, soma, and oxy. Tried to stabilize at 15 mg valium that I have been on for a couple of years, but was too tough, something seemed wrong. So I went up to 20 mg and starting to feel better. I figure it will take me another week or so to stabilize at 20, then my plan is to start tapering from there.
Thanks for the kind words, and good luck to you in your taper. The c/t stuff is brutal. Hopefully a gradual taper off the valium will be easier than the taper off the suboxone but not so sure. The suboxone taper was mild (and sometimes not so mild) misery for 3 months when I tapered down from 2 mg. Getting from 8 to 2 wasn't too bad, but under 2 mg was really rough.
All the best to you!
Binky |
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kattklaws
Administrator
370 Posts |
Posted - 08/02/2010 : 9:33:40 PM
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Good to hear from you binky............
I have been wondering how you are feeling.....has that opiate fatigue left you any?
You are so right, the ct is brutal, but then again the whole thing, the use, the getting off, the recovery, it's all brutal!
How are you sleeping,
Love, Karen |
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binky
New Member
USA
42 Posts |
Posted - 08/03/2010 : 3:14:37 PM
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Hi Karen,
Yes I think the opiate fatigue has left a lot, but not completely. I am starting to come around! Sleeping OK, still 5-6 hours, but not complaining! Sometimes I only take a melatonin to sleep!
Binky |
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kattklaws
Administrator
370 Posts |
Posted - 08/03/2010 : 3:43:02 PM
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binky,
so glad to hear things are looking good and that you can sleep with just a melatonin!!
Keep me posted,
Love ya,Karen |
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kattklaws
Administrator
370 Posts |
Posted - 08/03/2010 : 3:44:08 PM
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binky,
so glad to hear things are looking good and that you can sleep with just a melatonin!!
Keep me posted,
Love ya,Karen |
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