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RNB007
New Member
USA
11 Posts |
 Posted - 07/19/2010 : 05:22:54 AM
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Hi,
I started a cold turkey detox from 30mg methadone and 40mg Valium a day after 4 years for which I had no prescription. July 2nd I stopped both. I have had plenty of experience with pain pills and went through methadone w/d once before but only lasted 30 days before relapse and was on Valium then. I have never taking a benzo this long on a daily basis. On the 12th I ended up in the hospital after being up for 4 days chest pain just pure panic, twitching and rambling like a crazy person. They checked me out, said I was fine, said I was through with the methadone w/d and said it was the Valium, gave me a script for ten 50mg trazadone and sent me home. The ER Dr said I would be fine just give it time because Valium has a long half life. Well my mom got a hold of some Valium for me and I went back on it but only 15mg a day the past week. 5mg when I get up, mid day and before bed. I have horrid ringing in my left ear anxiety and when I do fall asleep for a hour or so I wake up in a panic. Life is hell. I have HIV, no medical insurance at the time and order my Valium online and from family/friends. I have always had severe anxiety and have been on about every SSRI. My question is this high pitched ringing in my ear is this normal for benzo WD? Should I go back on 30mg Valium daily or stay at 15mg? I will NEVER go back on methadone or any pain pill again after this scare but I seem to think I can not handle detoxing from methadone and Valium. I have lost 20 pounds, and besides the hospital have not stepped out of my house more less out of bed. I am so nervous and keep having chest pains and the ringing in my left ear is driving me insane.
Thanks for any help or information.
Ryan
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kattklaws
Administrator
370 Posts |
Posted - 07/19/2010 : 7:32:21 PM
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Ryan,
Cold turkey from that much Valium is dangerous! Yes, the weight loss and ringing in your ear are from Benzo withdrawal. It won't just go away. You might have to reinstate on your original dose and then small, daily reductions to get off the drug.
I know how sick you are. 17 months ago I was detoxed, cold turkey off of Xanax, Soma and Norco........it was absolute hell.
I did reinstate on Klonopin and am coming off a bit each day.......it has been a nightmare ride.........
Please, keep in touch, ok?
Blessings,
Karen |
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skooter
Senior Member
362 Posts |
Posted - 07/21/2010 : 7:06:43 PM
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Oh my Ryan,
I feel your pain, been there done that. I'm sorry you're not doing good. I sure hope you're ok??? Please come back and let us know, and I agree with Karen, you should be on at least 30mg of V if not the 40mg you started out with.
Hope to hear from you soon! |
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kattklaws
Administrator
370 Posts |
Posted - 07/21/2010 : 11:57:36 PM
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Search party for Ryan, where are ya guy? I am worried for you....please, if you can, post a quick note so I know you are ok.......
My prayers go out to you..........
much love and concern, Karen |
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RNB007
New Member
USA
11 Posts |
Posted - 07/22/2010 : 6:33:38 PM
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Thank you ALL for your help and concern. I am starting to stabilize a bit I hope. I am back to 25mg Valium a day. Methadone withdrawal is over. I am so scared to go back up any more, still ringing in left ear but now that I have went up from 15 to 25 it has went away some. Benzo w/d is the scariest thing I have ever dealt with if I would have only known. Opiate w/d was a breeze compared. I HATE myself for ever starting on benzos. OK I have to go I have family stopping by and my anxiety level is so high. I will w/b when I have more time to myself. Once again thank you so much Karen and skooter for you messages and I hope you are doing well.
Thank you more than you ever will know, I do not feel so alone. I feel so blessed by finding this site.
Ryan |
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kattklaws
Administrator
370 Posts |
Posted - 07/22/2010 : 10:37:06 PM
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Oh Ryan, so glad you came back, I have wondered and worried about you, we all do when someone doesn't post for a while, so know that we REALLY do care around here.
I am glad some of your symptoms have eased up and if you can get by without going up anymore than hold at 30 by all means. I am SO glad the Methadone wd is over.............I have heard that is a beast, but of course a cake walk compared to benzos.
I ct off of Norco after almost 5 years of constant use and I had no symptoms of wd except after the initial few weeks I felt so down and depressed, opiates, of any kind, wreck havoc on your emotional stability, but that doesn't kick in til about a month or so off the opiates.
If you experience that , know that will heal even while you are coming off your benzo, it's two different issues.
I am proud of you for getting thru the Methadone wd and now on to the benzo, but, you will make it..........we all will and have too,.
Love and prayers to you,
Karen |
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skooter
Senior Member
362 Posts |
Posted - 07/23/2010 : 01:46:51 AM
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Hey Ryan,
glad you are feeling better. I have that constant hissing in my ears. I've had it so long now, most times I don't notice it, but when I do it is a real pain in the butt for sure. Hang in there, once you stabalize this will be a breeze for you. You are very lucky that you reinstated in time, something I DIDN'T do unfortunately. I also came off of opiates too, a HUGE dose. And it was nothing compared to what I'm going thru. Thought I'd be living life by now, but no such luck here. I have faith that you will be doing much better very soon. You are very blessed that you found this site when you did, and I'm very happy for that! |
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kattklaws
Administrator
370 Posts |
Posted - 07/23/2010 : 5:27:50 PM
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Amen to everything you said Skoots!
Love to all, Karen |
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shawn
Moderator
90 Posts |
Posted - 07/23/2010 : 8:37:07 PM
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Hi Ryan, Just read your thread. First of ll Welcome to the site. I'm really glad you are feeling better and stablizing. There are some very very smart folks here. One of them saved me from a hellish nightmare I had going on. We are all eventually going to get out of this hell one day and HEAL, you gotta believe that. There is a way off this stuff. Once you get stable if you want to come off the good folks here can help you come off. It will not be as hard as your cold turkey. Not even close.
Glad to have you here my friend. |
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RNB007
New Member
USA
11 Posts |
Posted - 07/24/2010 : 12:10:35 AM
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Hey everyone
My main problem is keeping a dosing schedule. Since the methadone w/d my sleep pattern is insane. I might end up falling asleep at 9am and waking up at noon. Then stay up for almost 24hrs before I can knock myself out with a herbal med "Super Snooze with Melatonin Nighttime Formula" plus taking benadryl. I have been taking Atenolol 25mg daily I got from my grandma because my blood pressure has been through the roof. My question is if I am going to stick with a dose with these crazy hours how should I go about it? I am still back and forth from 20-25mg nut on no time frame just when I feel like I am about to loose it. Sometimes I take 5mg sublingually it seems to hit me quicker that way. My brain feels so fried I don't know if I am coming or going days and now weeks are just blurring together. I feel as if I have been awake all of July. When I do sleep nightmares are horrible and I dream I am looking for Valium or have some pill reference to them. Having HIV I just know this stress/anxiety has to be horror on my immune system. Monday I am going to call to make an appt. @ the free county HIV clinic to get my blood work done to see what my Tcell/CD4 count is and what my viral load is, which will take 2 weeks at best to get an appt then another 2weeks for blood work back. I just feel getting off Valium is going to kill me in the end. I am so scarred I am going to get sick during this. Without insurance there is not much I can do. After the trip to the hospital the 12th I felt like they could care less and I would just be fine once the Valium was out of my system. I have a few months worth of Prozac 20mg will that help with the deep deep depression I am falling into? I am sorry if this post is all over the place my brain is just fried I feel like. I have never felt like I need to be committed and put on Thorazine or something, but I do right now! I know there are good days and bad but today is not good I just want to take about 40mg of Valium at once! Uhh once again sorry for the rambling I just feel like no one in my family seems to grasp how I am feeling emotionally. I am paranoid I am going to have a stoke or a seizure or something is wrong just panicking over everything! Much love to you all and I hope everyone is doing well. Ryan |
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shawn
Moderator
90 Posts |
Posted - 07/24/2010 : 12:30:40 AM
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Ryan..you are going to be ok man. Firstly you would be doing your self a huge favor by trying to get on a regular dosing schedule..with the SAME dose everyday. If you have to go up some more to get stable..then by all means do it..and try to take the benzo at least 3 times a day..at the same time every day to make your daily dose. It's going to take some time for the valium to build back up in your blood again. Once that happens you should begin to stablize some more. You MAY not get 100% stable, but you do have a good chance since it was not long ago when you went cold turkey.
For now I would suggest to divide your doses equally throughout the day, maybe a slight increase if you are not stable at the dose you are on. But the most important thing is to have a regular dosing schedule and don't yo-yo your dose up and down you want to try to get a constant blood level of the benzo going. and give it some time to let your body try yo get stable. you were at 40mgs before your c/t? so you might need to reinstate more than 20-25 mg's to try to stablize.
I know it's hard waiting to see if you will stablize or not. I am just now getting stable after I went back up to 1mg of klonopin after I tapered down to fast. Once I split my doses up to an equal amount and took it at the same time every day (every 8 hours) I feel ten times better.
you can do this man..
Others will be by to help as well...hang in there. You are NOT alone in this!! We are right here with you. You are going to make it thought this.. |
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Edited by - shawn on 07/24/2010 12:57:30 AM |
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kattklaws
Administrator
370 Posts |
Posted - 07/24/2010 : 01:19:12 AM
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Ryan,
Shawn is right on the money. You probably need to updose a bit since you ct and you are going through methadone PAWS. The panic/anxiety and sleep issues and of course the depression hit hard after the initial Methadone wd so Valium may not cover that up.
Try to get on 4 doses of the Valium for now.......take it every 6 hours. Try to stick with it and as Shawn said, after it has a few weeks to build up in your system, you will have a constant blood plasma level which will give you a stability factor instead of all the dips and peaks you are having now by just taking it whenever..
You are Ok, we are here for you.............get your Tcell count done asap. It is very important you do a slow taper so you don't put any undo stress on your immune system, so let;'s see what that Tcell count is, ok?
You are in my prayers, Hon,
Love to you,
Karen |
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shawn
Moderator
90 Posts |
Posted - 07/24/2010 : 07:10:11 AM
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Hi Ryan, Just wanted to check on ya this morning. Please updte us when you get a chance bro.
I see you said you are going to get a T cell done monday..as Karen said that should be your first step while you are getting stable on a dose BEFORE you attempt any tapering, so we can make sure everything is ok there.
I really want you to stick around bro..I know how lonely and dark this withdrawal hell is. But it doesn't have to be. You have support HERE..We are all here to help brighten the darkness of withdrawal for each one of us. While we can't take all the pain away for each other, just knowing each other is there helps A LOT!
Just know, no one gives up on anyone here..and you will make it through this. Just keep in touch with us, and let us know how it goes monday...and we will go from there...in the meantime work on getting on a stable dose..stable meaning to where you can function, without the uneeded stress on your body right now.
You are one strong guy to have gone through, what you have. Dig down deep and keep that strength going brother!
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Edited by - shawn on 07/24/2010 11:50:36 AM |
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RNB007
New Member
USA
11 Posts |
Posted - 07/24/2010 : 6:40:21 PM
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Hey everyone,
I hope y'all are having a great weekend. Well I messed up big time. I woke up at Noon took 5mg Valium, and took 5mg at 6pm. I am staying on the every 6 hours 5mg Karen suggested. BUT I caved because I dropped a garden brick on my big toe and my toe nail is barely hanging on working in the yard and took a 10/660 Vicodin HP at 2pm and another one just now. My mom takes Vicodin and 2 50mg Ultram 6 times a day but has never touched a benzo. So I feel just sick inside and I see how I DO NOT miss pain pills I feel so yucky. Most importantly ashamed of myself. I have to wake up tomorrow and so no. I have went through hell with the methadone w/d not to slip up and get back on these things. It is so hard when someone says here take this baby, and when its your mom it makes it so much more complex. I made it from July 2nd to today without any opiates. I PRAY I can just sweat this off and go on and stick with the problem at had getting my Valium stabilized and tapering down. Everyone PLEASE yell at me and tell me what the hell was I thinking. Pills are so freaking evil. I wish I could go back in time knowing what I know and have been through and I would have never even taking an Asprin!! Well that is what is going on around here. I hope everyone is doing great and I am so grateful for your support. I have read so many post on here and cried at some. The pain, heartache and damage these evil things do to us physically and emotionally. I have to help mom with dinner. Thank you all for being here it means so much I just can not express it enough. I will w/b with an update soon. MUCH LOVE, Ryan |
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shawn
Moderator
90 Posts |
Posted - 07/24/2010 : 6:46:46 PM
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ryan,
Do NOT beat yourself up. You are an addict. I am too...Opiates are HARD to walk away from..but you did!! you had a little slip up..thats ok man. Just dont do it again, stop while you are ahead...those 2 vics shouldnt set you back in terms of your methadone detox. I know its tempting to take more, But As long as you dont take anymore you should be fine. Even the ultram (tramadol) definatley stay away from that one was well...I know many docs say its not addicting, but it is indeed addicting. Ultram also lowers the seizure threshold..which you dont need right now. Stick with Ibuprofen and tylenol..alternate between the two..and maybe some ice.
Opiates will indeed screw up a benzo taper and mess with the withdrawal sx's..so just becareful. We both know how those 2 vics can turn into 10 vics, then a whole bottle...
Oxy was my demon. I've been clean for a little over two months, with a few slips here and there...
It's going to be ok man. Just PLEASE dont take anymore opiates, and you are gonna be golden and we can concentrate on your valium
You are still getting your T cell done monday right? |
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Edited by - shawn on 07/24/2010 6:51:02 PM |
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kattklaws
Administrator
370 Posts |
Posted - 07/24/2010 : 7:06:01 PM
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Ryan,
I just want to second everything Shawn just said! Do NOT beat yourself up.......you had a slip up, it happens, but now put them behind you and ask your mom not to offer you anything. Does she know you just ct off Methadone?
Please, for your own sake, tell your mom you are clean and you don't want to be offered anything. Does she know you are HIV positive?
It is so important we get you healthy and opiates are not the way.
We need to get you clean and drug free and concentrate on a healthy diet and getting that Tcell level........
You are still loved, we will never get mad at you......ok?
((((((Ryan))))))) much love
Karen
By the way hon, how old are you, if you don't mind me asking...just helps us to put it all into perspective to help you, we are here to get you your life back! |
Edited by - kattklaws on 07/24/2010 7:50:58 PM |
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