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kattklaws
Administrator
370 Posts |
 Posted - 07/29/2010 : 2:47:02 PM
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Cheryl,
So glad the mood thing lifted.
I hadn't had the anxiety for months and months, probably close to 9 and then BAM it came back with a vengence.............
I HATE the anxiety..........it is crippling.
ahhhhhh, another day, huh?
Love, Karen |
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skooter
Senior Member
362 Posts |
Posted - 07/29/2010 : 4:46:46 PM
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Oh Karen,
I am so sorry you're having the awful anxiety to deal with. I just don't understand any of this anymore. Makes no sense at all, how many of our s/x's can disappear for awhile when doing Janas method, and then just reappear out of the blue again. So agravating, and puzzling it all can be. But the biggest puzzle for me is how Jana had no others before us not become stabalize, not come out of their w/d in the same shape as when they begun. I don't know why you and I are so special Karen, but we were meant to find each other, that I am sure of. If we hadn't, we would both be thinking we were the only ones that the method didn't work as good as those before us. Why oh why are we the special ones?
I mean, YES this method has taken away many horrid s/x's that the cut and suffer method would have us in to this day. And I'm very thankful for that. Especially those mental ones in my case. But wow, the awful physical ones I've been having to deal with since this began, seem they will never leave. But I do have faith, with Gods help, they will start to once I am finished with these poisons!
Hope you're feeling better Karen,
Love ya! |
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skooter
Senior Member
362 Posts |
Posted - 08/11/2010 : 6:39:43 PM
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I don't know if I should even post this, but figure I might as well as a WARNING to others out there that might be doing the same thing as I. Or if they're already on an opiate and benzo at the same time.
I've often said that knowing what I know now, I would have ditched the benzo before the opiate. You always read to not withdraw from more than one drug also. I also know now, that I would wait at least 3 months and maybe 6 months to start to withdraw from a second or third drug even after getting off the first. (hope that makes sense)
Anyways, I have once AGAIN, royally screwed myself up big time. I was warned, and think I need someone to hit me over the head with a baseball bat, because I just never listen. I had been taking a half of a morph pill off and on for quite awhile at the beginning of the year. It was going all right doing it that way. As I was getting lower on my dose tho, and my continual pain crushing torso was getting worse again, I then went to my pusher and he gave me oxy at my request. (yes he gives me WHATEVER I ask for). And I got into the "habit" of taking it daily now for about 4 months, give or take a week. And now I am so literally SCREWED, and once again fearing for my life. Yes it's that bad. I am sickened to death I have allowed myself to let it get this far. Even with just taking 2 to 3 pills a day (10mg). Usually 2 1/2.
I cannot believe what I have done. I tried to stop a few times and as they s/x's start to go thru the roof, the fear really sets in, the s/x's get so so bad, I break down and take one probably due to the extreme fear now of the s/x's. I then pay for it big time as I am today, it really turns on me. And it makes me smoke more, hence I am in another vicious cycle here, and scared to death. How could I have been so stupid AGAIN. I went thru this the LAST time I tried to take neurontin for my s/x's. I must of tried that garbage 5 times at least. The last time being the longest and most I tried, and then came off after about 8 weeks of use I think, and came off it in a few days. It was horrid, and I am now looking at even more freaking me out torture.
How disgustingly stupid can a person be. Why can I not learn. I am once again getting huge impulses to just stop taking it ALL. I cannot take much more of this. Why couldn't I just listen to the expert Jana, and NOT TAKE ANYTHING!?? Pathetic feelings of self loathing or what here, you tell me. I know many will say don't be hard on yourself, but they just don't feel this body and what I go thru everyday. I don't even know if that makes sense, sorry.
So I am going to probably be pretty incompacitated for awhile here, well haven't I already been just that for so long now. What a friggen joke! I am again so thouroughly disgusted with the ENTIRE medical system again, I could really do some damage to someone in that industry if had the chance. Thankfully I don't have that chance. Gosh it's no wonder that people go bersurk while on these toxins, it happens so often and the brainwashing media never mentions they're on pharma drugs. Sickening.
So now I am literally stuck here. Not sposed to go off of 2 drugs at a time. And the oxy has really turned on me. I was not going to take it everyday, but I liked being able to do things again and got caught up on it. No not addicted, but tolerant. Sigh, sorry this is so long, sorry for whining but I really don't know how I am to get out of this one now. I thought I'd of learned with the neurontin as that was tough to stop taking also. But I think I have such a fear of this awful vibration, stinging, crushing etc. sensations I freak out and take the drugs and then I get them anyways when they're wearing off in a couple hrs.
Well I'll just continue to pray to God to once again give me the strenght (which I think I am pretty well out of now) to somehow get thru this again. But really don't know if my mind can take much more of this body going wild on me.
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Edited by - skooter on 08/11/2010 6:49:31 PM |
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binky
New Member
USA
42 Posts |
Posted - 08/13/2010 : 5:18:59 PM
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Hi Cheryl,
Just read this post. I know if I still had 600 opiates in the house I would have used some of them for pain management the last few weeks (i was able to build up a big stash from my doctor to make sure I did not run out. I flushed over 200 oxy's, 200 norco's, and 200 tramadol's a few weeks ago. One thing i had to do which you might consider, is that when I started the sub (I DO NOT SUGGEST YOU TAKE SUB) my doctor told me to stop the oxy and double up on the norco's for a few days, then I had to stop the norco's for 24 hours and go into moderate withdrawal before I could be inducted on sub. My point is that it may be best to taper off a short acting opiate instead of tapering the oxy which is long lasting.
Hang in there and let me know if I can help from my experience.
All the best,
Binky |
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kattklaws
Administrator
370 Posts |
Posted - 08/13/2010 : 10:38:27 PM
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Oh Cheryl,
I do know where you are, because that is where I found myself, dependent on Norco, Soma and in tolerance wd to Xanax. It was awful, but I just ct the Soma and the Norco and you know just keep in mind, that wd will heal and go away because the benzo wd is a different part of the receptor. Get off that stuff now, before your body gets any more tolerant to it because then you have to deal with tolerance wd from opiates as well..........
I am so sorry you are in this mess, but know we have gone through it too........you CAN switch over to Norco, wait a bit then just ct off of it or taper...........but get off that junk and then make sure no matter what, take no moor drugs that have dependency issues........ever.
You are in my prayers (((((((hugs)))))))))))
Karen |
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